Between Selfish and Vain Piety

Some people make selfishness sexy. Some have mastered the art "humbly" letting everyone know how unselfish they are. And I, in my (what I like to think) my most sincere desire to be close to God, debate within myself which is more right.

Obviously to anyone outside of myself, the answer is neither, but somehow things like this take up way too much space in my mind.

Meanwhile, Jesus waits for me to get over myself and come on over and talk to Him. But to me, Jesus is that guy that is so awesome I wonder what it would be like to be around Him all the time, to have Him look on me with affection and become my knight in shining armor.

He keeps waiting.

I keep dreaming, wondering where it is between selfish and vain piety that I will find Him.

Then He gets my attention and says, "If you really know me, you won't even notice the selfish, the vain, or even yourself. You are mine, and that is what matters."

What a thought.

1 Corinthians 3:18-23

New International Reader's Version (NIRV)

¹⁸ Don’t fool yourselves. Suppose some of you think you are wise by the standards of the world. Then you should become a “fool” so that you can become wise.
¹⁹ The wisdom of this world is foolish in God’s eyes. It is written, “God catches wise people in their own tricks.” (Job 5:13) ²⁰ It is also written, “The Lord knows that the thoughts of the wise don’t amount to anything.” (Psalm 94:11)
²¹ So no more bragging about human beings! All things are yours. ²² That means Paul or Apollos or Peter or the world or life or death or the present or the future. All are yours. ²³ You are joined to Christ and belong to him. And Christ is joined to God.

 

Sowing Tears

My latest Bible study ended today. I almost did not do this one. I missed the first, forgot about the second, and still did not have a book by the third. But I did it, God knew I needed it.

The Psalms of Ascent. Mamas, we need to know these songs.

One particular Psalm resonates in my mind today.

 

 

Psalm 126

 

When the Lord brought back the

captives to Zion,

We were like men who dreamed.

Our mouths were filled with laughter,

our tongues with songs of joy.

Then it was said among the nations,

"The Lord has done great things for them."
The Lord has done great things for us,

and we are filled with joy.

Restore our fortunes, O Lord,

like streams in the Negev,

Those who sow in tears

He who goes out weeping,

carrying seed to sow,

will return with songs of joy,

carrying sheaves with him.

 

How many tears have we sown? How many sighs and tired smiles? Searching for my coffee mug while half asleep, winces while paying bills? Aching to be with our children when we cannot, wishes for a night out, or prayers of questioning why evil can continue?

 

There are times I am so impatient with my life. I think I must be wasting away my days surrounded by clutter and piles of laundry. And God reminds me the sowing is never wasted. Every single day is not wasted when something is sown.

 

The tears we sow show us we desire more. They show us we need a rescue. They show us we are alive and believe there is something superior to attain.

 

Keep sowing, keep praying, keep persevering, keep asking. Because, this promise remains. He who goes out weeping, carrying seeds to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with Him.

 

That day will come.

 

Job said, "For I know that my Redeemer lives."(Job 19:25)

 

In Isaiah, "I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD." (Isaiah 45:3)

 

Jesus said, "In this world you will have tribulation. But take heart! I have overcome the world". (John 16:33)

 

Keep sowing. God was so good to give us and everyone else a free will. He gave us the opportunity to fight, to search, to sow. And in the end, we will be privileged to see our own redemption, which will be even sweeter when we remember our tears.

 

 



My Ten Thousand Acres

What does peace look like?

 

A clean space?

 

What does peace sound like?

 

Quiet classical music?

 

What does peace feel like?

 

Light and free?

If so, I have no peace. In addition, I have no hope of having any in the near future. I am Mom.

Mom needs peace to do her job well. She is doomed.

Unless....

Unless this definition is a lie.

My peace, should I be able to choose it, is the middle of ten thousand acres of nothing but a natural creation. A rock to turn over, a butterfly to chase, a river. Peace like a river.

No noise, no deadlines, no clutter.

Simply nature doing what it was created to do. Displaying its majestic beauty in daily routine. God shows Himself to me in nature.

But I live in suburbia. On a budget. With four children. Smack dab in the middle of life.

I yearn for it, pray for it, seek it, may even give my right arm for it. Peace is essential.

Peace is not losing it when everyone is having a bad day. Peace is smiling when the mortgage is due. Peace is sleeping at night. Peace is life.

God has given me peace. He has given me my ten thousand acres, even though I possess no title.

Today, it was park-hoping, watching the children run through falling leaves, stepping over acorns and walnuts. Spying on daddy long legs and walking sticks. A brief talk with my husband. Cheerful voices in play. It was here. It was in me as well. It is in the promises of God.

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27